Healing Through Ballet
In 1990, I had a crippling back surgery due to a herniated disc. It was incredibly painful and left me with a 25% whole body impairment. I was unable to walk for some time, and it took over six months of physical therapy to be able to walk and function. A few years later, I had a surgery that almost killed me.
I have a theory that everything in life happens for a reason, and that there is always some lesson to be learned from from an unpleasant -- even horrible -- experience. With my back surgery, I learned several things.
First, that your body is a temple and you are free to do with it as you please. You can take care of it, nurture it, and love it, or just sit there and let all that energy go to waste. Second, life is incredibly precious -- and short. Every little second of it should be savored. It is amazing how vulnerable and fragile life really is, and how easy it is to take it for granted. Third, when you are physically unable to tie your own shoes, you find out who your real friends are! And fourth, you can either live with a disability, or overcome it.
I never thought I would be able walk well again, let alone dance! But in early 1997, I decided I would take a ballet class -- after all, it couldn't hurt! I thought it would help increase my flexibility and would be good for stress.
It worked! The progress in the beginning was slow, and boy did I come home sore! I took class at one studio for a couple of years, until my favorite ballet instructor died.
Again, my catch-all way of feeling good about something so terrible kicked in. I wondered what lesson there was for me in Myra's passing. She had a passion for dance and danced even though she was well into her 50s. Myra also suffered from a disability, and yet it never held her back. Voila: the lesson!
I was going to keep dancing, and now with a passion, for Myra...and me! I started taking an extra class after her death, and began devoting myself to dance seriously. In no time, I was able to move up into an intermediate class. I was so happy, and began to feel like I was really dancing!
Within a year, I was able to begin pointe work! Pointe work!!! I couldn't believe it! I loved to watch the ballerinas on pointe and how beautiful and graceful they looked. I began pointe classes at another school, and even took up a jazz class. It was such a blast!
It was pretty funny because the kids in my class were so young! I couldn't get over how much older I was then they were. (I was 39 and they were 10 or 12.) But anyway...I was determined to do it! It has been slow in coming, but my teacher tells me I am making a lot of progress. It has been a little painful, but I am doing well in coping with my disability and at times I feel just like a kid again.
I have started to choreograph a beautiful dance to a Celtic mood CD. I have not had a performance opportunity yet, but hope my dance will be shown in the local choreographer's workshop. There are several other girls from my class who want to participate. Also, I'll be trying out for small parts in "Dracula" and the "Nutcracker."
Ann has sent in an update (even before I had a chance to get her story online):
I formed a dance company last week known as The Si Dance Company. I am trying to rent a performance hall here in Albuquerque sometime next year for a dancer/choreographer showcase. My company's mission is to provide opportunities for dancers who might not otherwise have the chance to perform. -- Ann