Weight loss reveals a dancer inside
I am a 36-year-old woman who just recently started an adult beginner ballet class.
On May 19, 2003, I had laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery. Being an overweight person was very depressing in all areas of my life. I hurt all over all the time, especially my feet and my knees. I was unhappy with what I looked like.
There was no way I would have ever, in a million years, put on a leotard and tights and go out in public where someone else could see me.
I made up my mind after three years of research to have this surgery. I wanted to look better and feel better.
After the surgery, my weight started to drop at a pretty alarming pace. I wanted to start aerobics to help tone up my muscles and help the skin tone up also. Well, I bought an aerobics CD, and it about killed me.
Then I thought, let me try this new Pilates stuff. I couldn't take lying on the ground to do all the stomach work, but I did like the standing ballet moves.
So, I decided that I wanted to try a ballet class mainly for the stretching and to help me regain my balance. This was the best decision that I have ever made besides having the gastric bypass surgery. I have lost 69 lbs since my surgery, but 87 lbs total. Mind you, I'm still no petite little thing and will never be. At 5' 8", I may get thin, but I'll always be tall.
I had my ballerina dreams dashed as a young child. I was told by the teacher that I was too tall to be a ballerina and of course, that was after I took one season of ballet and she got my parents' money. But throughout the years, I always watched it on tv. I used to pirouette and prance around the house to my mother's delight anyway. As I got heavier over the years, my dreams of ever wearing ballet slippers again were a faint memory.
The first day in the class was like a dream. I actually stood at the barre next to the little bitty graceful women and girls in the class. I did not feel funny. I felt wonderful. I did not care that I was the fattest or the tallest girl in class. I found out that I was more limber than I thought I was. I also found out that I could do more of the movements than I thought I could.
I'm still pretty unbalanced and look like like an orca with pink shoes on, but I don't really care. It feels good. It feels natural. I now find myself sitting at my desk at work wondering how long it will be before I could actually try to do pointe work. I've already told all my friends that I was going to take my "after" picture in a ballet outfit. (The before surgery and after surgery pictures for weight loss).
I also feel like I'm in mourning for the years I could have been dancing, but didn't because some hard-nosed teacher dashed the dreams of a little girl. Maybe I would have found out in later years that I would be too tall, but I still could have been dancing for whomever would want to watch. I could have been dancing all these years for me.
So now I am going to a class once a week, but I will be upgrading that to twice a week. Perhaps as I improve and lose more weight, I will be able to join an intermediate class. I don't want to jump the gun, but it certainly doesn't hurt to dream.
Thanks for reading my story. I hope this inspires someone else who is afraid. Don't be. Anyone who would criticize someone for trying for a dream isn't worth the time or effort to know. Do it for yourself! 9/03 -- Tammy Becnel
Update 1/04: I’ve now lost more weight making a total loss of 113 lbs. I now take class twice a week and am still working hard to get a promotion to intermediate. It may be a while, but I am still motivated. Even if I never get promoted, it really doesn’t matter. I feel so pretty and graceful even if my teacher cringes when I mess up. There is nothing that can compare to how it makes me feel. I’ll send some pictures one day when I muster up enough courage to have one taken of me in my leotard, skirt and tights. I’ll include a “before weight loss and ballet” picture too.